Famous Family Quotes

and other Hilarious Lines

from TV & Movies

Because as we like to say...

The Jorgensens have no original material

Jana thought if would be fun and important to immortalize the verbal gems
from our Jorgensen heritage that we'll be quoting for years to come. 

In Memory of Our Beloved Feline
(1983-1995)

"Oh Yangtze!  Oh Yangtze!
Beautiful River. River full of...fish."
- Monty Python (c.1970)

"Who's paying for this!"
Dad, upon discovering all his kids waiting for him at
the Roof restaurant in SLC for his 70th surprise birthday.

I've only eaten there twice in one day...once.
Pam, answering Cheryl's inquiry of how many times she's eaten
at In-N-Out Burger since they've moved to PHX.

"Mom's got cake, cookies, ice cream and 6 other things at home!"
Dad trying to get out of buying his kids a treat at the store

"I thought that only happened in cartoons!"
Chase, after noticing a large bump on his head from a nasty collision with the stairwell banister.

"Where's my fork 'n food?!?!"
Aryn, standing in her chair, at the top of her lungs, after waiting a LONG time 
for her food at TGI Friday's in SLC with Jake, Jen (mouths dropped open in horror), Connie & kids.
Only Aryn can't pronounce her R's.  You do the math!!!!

"It wasn't lost."
- Grandpa Herb's response to his grandchildren whenever they "found" some kind of treasure at the homestead.

"...we love you, and we want you to do well...but
when you act like a complete @#?!, we have to help you!"
- Grandpa Herb to many of us.

"I want it killed!"
- Mitch at Brooke's birthday party when he came across a bug he didn't particularly like. (September 1999)

"I slapped him because he told everyone I was drunk!"
- Grandma Sally talking about her teenage days. Note: Grandma was dancing on the table pretending to be drunk

"Everyone's strange in their own little way."
- Grandma Abbie's comment whenever she heard someone criticizing someone else. 

"Where's that Hoobie Goobie?"
- Grandma Abbie, anytime she couldn't think of the name of something.

"No, fine, I'll do it myself !"
 - Dad, well, throughout most of our childhoods.

"The honeymoon is over"
- Our pessimistic Father anytime something looks like it's gonna be difficult.

"If you are not at the airport one hour before your flight, you WILL be bumped!"
- Dad, to anyone who flies to a family event. Note: Greg and Cheryl listened to Dad's counsel when flying to Utah for Thanksgiving. They have a video showing how "dead" the airport was that hour before.

"We should have never tried this!"
- Dad, in San Francisco...and elsewhere.

"I don't like these...Brad likes these...Mrs. Brownfield likes these..."
- Mom, trying to describe "antiques", during a game of Taboo.

"I like blue and I was wearing a feather in my hat at dinner."
 - Jenny, trying to be discreet about her identity as Mrs. Peacock during a VCR Clue Game (c. 1985)

"Its name is Main Street...but Santa gave it to somebody else"
- Brian (age 2 1/2), after seeing Mike open his Fisher Price Main Street toy for Christmas in Moberly before he found out he got one too.

"Well, on that radio of Brad's...you can listen to the moon."
- Scott interrupting Brad as he talked on tape to Grandma and Grandpa Plewe about his new crystal radio. Note: The box the radio came in had a picture of the moon on it.

"Wrong!"
- Brad's response to mom after she said the following: "I wish you could all see Brad's bedroom...we have a new policy around our house it's called, let Brad live in his own dirt...Last night dad surprised Brad by taking his picture...in the room. Brad was kind of embarrassed...We're gonna see how bad it can get before it gets better. Right Brad?"

"Don't listen to that one word he said, he said: 'wrong'...well I'm gonna say, yes...to his dirty feet room. And it smells so bad, you can even smell him."
- Scott commenting on Brad's above comment.

"Shut up! This is my Christmas!"
- Greg (age 12) yelling at Scott (age 5) because Scott kept interrupting Greg while he was trying to talk on tape to Grandma and Grandpa Plewe.

"Greg, did you want the baby?...Then I'm happy for you."
- Grandma Plewe's response when Greg told her that he and Cheryl were expecting their first child.

"You can have the nice radio in the kitchen."
- Mom's response to Jenny after she asked for a new radio. Note: Some would say the "nice radio in the kitchen" wasn't so great :-) 

"Now I don't have to use the nice radio in the kitchen."
- Jenny's response (with heavy sarcasm) to the family after getting a new radio for Christmas.

"...just looking at the cats!"
- Jenny's "quick" response when Mom and Dad asked what we were all doing down in the basement for so long, being so quiet.  In fact we (Greg, Cheryl, Scott, Matt & Jenny) were planning their surprise 25th anniversary party held later that year at Dave & Marcia's.

"Jackie...stick to bread...it's cheaper."
- Dad's response to Mom when after a LONG history of burning bread in the oven, Mom burned the bacon.

"Say...say!"
- Mom yelling to an unsuspecting bystander for directions as a bunch of us traveled to Idaho for Brad and Connie's wedding. Note: The rest of the family hid in embarrassment inside the van, not wanting to be seen.

"Hand it over!"
- Scott, to Grandma Abbie who, when visiting, always brought her famous "bread and butter gifts."

"Box it up! This is one of those gifts you play with for awhile and then take back when you're bored."
- Scott's response after playing with one of his Christmas gifts, a Casio keyboard, for about an hour.  (Actually, this is when I figured out how much it was worth and realized what other things I could buy with that much $$$)

"I'd like it if it wasn't for that darn mouse."
- Mom, disguising her deep-seated fear of computers, when we told her she should start using the Macintosh computer to do her church bulletin. She finally succumbed and to this day, ironically, is the only one left who still owns a Mac.  (Mid 1980's)

"I'll throw sticks, I'll throw anything!!"
- Mitch, while driving down Immigration Canyon, patiently waiting for Grandma to find him a safe stream by the side of the road after we promised we would stop and let him throw rocks in the water.
(April 1999--Billy Joel Concert)

"Do you find this show funny? Or just silly?"
- Grandpa Herb asking a group of his grandchildren about an episode of a sitcom they were watching (this was his round about way to get us to change the channel to CNN).

We can't take credit for the following quotes,
but we use them anyway...

"Wow! Can we go up on it?" To which someone replies, "No."
- Quote from the movie Vacation that a member of the family yells anytime we drive past the St. Louis Arch.

"I heard he had a hook on his foot."
- Actually quoting Spaz from Meatballs (speaking of how he heard the story of the mass murderer who had just escaped from the insane asylum), now used family-wide whenever the phrase "I heard..." appears more than once in a conversation. Note: This phrase is sometimes linked with: "I heard he had a glass eye."
UPDATE: After view Meatballs recently, we found the actual quote to be, "I heard he was missing a foot".  To which Fink replies, "How could you have a hook on your foot?"

"Look to the cookie."
- A quote from Seinfeld that we use whenever we want everyone to get along.

NOTE: In the episode, Jerry Seinfeld wonders aloud why people of different races couldn't get along like a Black & White cookie. His quote: "The key to eating a black and white cookie is that you wanna get some black and some white in each bite. Nothing mixes better than vanilla and chocolate. And yet still somehow racial harmony eludes us. If people would only look to the cookie, all our problems would be solved."

Obviously we've got a ton of these (think of the Christmas '73 tape) and soon we'll be able to capture them for posterity.  As a ground rule, we'll keep these posts to quotes actually said by family members and close friends that were enjoyed by no less than two  families/members  (i.e. I'm not going to post all of the hilarious one-liners Jana is constantly spouting unless it was in the company of one of our other families).  By the way, I'm sure we'll all make mistakes as we put these together, so input as to the precise wording will be appreciated.